Sorrows of two beings Kuwabara's POV
by Yuugiamethyst
Summary: It’s the same story, but in Kuwabara’s POV it’s a must read! Important information about Kuwabara’s past is revealed.


If you're reading this, I'm probably not around anymore.

Funny isn't it?

The fool

Idiotic baka

The jerk without troubles is dieing now?

Before all of you.

Who'd ever thought idiot Kuwabara and ditzy Grim Reaper would be the firsts to go…

Ha. You jerks think were stupid…

When you're the only idiots around…

You don't know how long I wanted to tell all you bastards how I feel…

You think I don't hear you?

Well I do pretty loudly actually since you actually say it in my face.

Ha. Jerks that's what you all are, but still you're my friends.

Funny, the people you always think you can rely on are the ones that hurt you the most.

I guess shrimp was right why have friends? They'll just spite you…

Just like everyone else has…

Does…

And will…

Ha, I can see my grave now 'Here lies KuwaBAKA the biggest loser and moron to ever walk the earth, may another one like you ever be born'

Yup, that seems like something you'd write.

Why does everyone hate me?

I'd like to know myself…

I'm strong too.

I'm just as loyal…

I try to be kind…

I'm always trying…

But it's not enough, never enough.

How come when Urameshi or shrimp screw up no one hates them?

Why does everyone love Kurama and hate me?

I try to be just as nice.

I'm not as smart and never will be but still.

It hurts.

Ha. You must all be reading this and say that I'm going nuts right now.

But I'm not, I'm just pissed.

Why is everyone liked more?

Is it because of their pasts? Is that why?

I know they've all suffered a lot, but so have I…

I'll tell you all a story…

A rather

Morbid

Dark

And disturbing one…

You see my mom and Shizuru's mom aren't the same.

My father married Shizu's mom and they happily had her, they, loved her and always treasured her.

But me

Shizu's mom died and our father went into depression, he began to drink.

That's where my prostitute mother comes into the game and gets her whore ass pregnant.

So all the times you've all called me bastard, guess what?

You were right…

And know what else?

It hurts anyway…

Well 'our' father still had some decency and as soon as I was born my 'mother' and I came to live with him.

I was around 4 years old when I heard all the screams

Of course during those 4 years that whore continued to do what she did best…

Dad started drinking again…

Shizu was with aunt Sakura during that time.

Ah yes I can still remember the punches and kicks, you see its rather traumatizing for a four year old…

After he kicked my mom out, he told me no matter what I had to be happy.

He would kick me

Punch me

Cut me

Burn me

Starve me

And I still had to feign happiness

That's where those goofy smiles come from.

Years went by, I started school.

By that time my bruises would heal in less than an hour so my dad would still beat me up.

Sometimes having spirit power ain't that nice huh?

I started school; I was actually a good student.

I remember bringing my first 100 percent to him in hopes of pleasing him…

You know what he did?

He smacked me.

Why?

Because he said that bastards like me couldn't be happy.

I reminded him that he was the one that told me to be happy.

He smacked me harder.

He said it was lie, but that no one could know what happened at home that was why he told me.

You know what else he told me?

That if anyone found out…

He'd kill me…

I fell into depression…

So I jumped of a bridge…

Yes, my first suicide attempt was at age 5.

And many more followed it, but someone would always save me.

Many more traumatizing years followed.

I was 12 and Shizu was 18 she still was with her aunt.

That when it happened.

Our house burned down, I was sleeping.

I got very burned.

Father died.

I went into the hospital for 3 months.

Shizu came back and took custody.

I remember the look on her face when the bandages came off.

My once innocent and rather charming face was charred and scared horribly.

I had little hair.

My complexion was ghostly white after all the time my skin had been removed.

I was held back a year.

I finally went to Sarayashiki jr. High

I looked different, for the worse.

But I had hope, father was gone and Shiz was a lot nicer.

But that didn't stop people from hating me and talking about me.

People shouldn't judge others, I know.

Look where it got Botan and me.

She's suffered a lot too she never told though.

Just like me.

Why re-live horrible past images when you cam burry them in your memory?

But it not good to hold so many feelings in look where it got us.

But still I'm glad I didn't make everyone around me lives even more miserable than I already make them with my presence.

I'm surprised your still trying to break the door down, I wonder what toddler bribed you with this time.

I know neither of you car about Botan and I, so why bother we're happier this way and so will everyone else.

I don't care what you do with my body you can dump it a trash can for all I care, but I beg of you with whatever pride I have left that Botan gets a proper burial with a semi ok tomb.

She doesn't deserve this, but it was her wish.

She said it would be the only thing to make her truly happy so I let her die.

I practically killed her.

But she doesn't care she says it's the best that could have happened.

She's right.

The world is better off without us.

Urameshi, Kurama, Hiei, take care of yourselves and be glad that on your next missions you won't have the 'ditz' and the 'idiot' to slow you down and make you fail.

Koenma, I have nothing to say to you.

Keiko, thank you for trying to enlighten this idiot, you willone of the few persons I will miss.

Yukina, I admit that I loved you. You used to be what I lived for, my sun, my moon my everything. But it slowly faded away, that and the pain of rejection were too great. I am sorry for bothering all these years and thank you for your kindness Arigatou Gozaimasu

Shizuru nee-chan, I love you, I'll miss you please don't do anything stupid, please stop smoking. Please don't grieve my death, I know you'd be the only person to even think twice the possibility of grieving me, but I don't deserve your tears; not this idiot.

I want you to all know that all those cruel words and jokes, do hurt you. Bad. Every time I hear them I want to stab myself. Every time I hear them I die inside.

I know I'm worthless, that I'm an idiot and al of that.

No need to remind me….

-Kuwabara 'the baka'

####### Reality ##########

Kuwabara finished writing his letter. His will had been written a long time ago.

With whatever strength he had left he settled Botan in a more comfortable position and sat down panting.

The door would break down any moment and he knew it, but no one would mess up his or her deaths.

15 minutes passed.

And the door broke down.

"Botan!! Kuwabara!!!"

Kuwabara slowly watched the blurry figures of their 'friends' looking around the apartment.

He stood up. And gave the coldest look he could. It was filled with all the rage from all of his years in the living world.

"Le-aave us aaa-lone bastards" he said in the coldest tone he could.

The last thing he saw were his 'friends' sorrow and horror filled faces.

Then he saw no more.

########## End/Author Notes ##########

This is pretty much the same as Botan's just done in a darker Kuwabara POV. Its very angsty.

The sequel if you can call it that is out now. Its called **Tic-Toc**. It's the POV of Yusuke, Hiei, Kurama, Shizuru, Yukina, Keiko and Koenma during the crisis.

After that comes the alternate ending fics. One called **The Healing**, in which they come out alive obviously and the other called **And they Died**, which is were they die. You can use whichever ending you prefer, it doesn't mater, you just have to read Sorrows of two beings, whichever POV and Tic-toc.

Hope you enjoyed, than you for reading please R&R.


End file.
